


workout

by weeklypants



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Anal Sex, Crack, Hair, It's real weird, M/M, Valentines present, balls, exercise video, grossly descriptive anal sex, john in a box, semen - Freeform, sherlock's penis got an erection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-12
Updated: 2014-02-12
Packaged: 2018-01-12 02:10:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1180673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/weeklypants/pseuds/weeklypants
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The thrilling tale of a consulting penis, an old exercise-video, and a horny blogger.</p>
            </blockquote>





	workout

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Katrophie](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Katrophie).
  * Inspired by [Tuesday, January 28](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/35824) by knitmeapony. 



> A friend of mine saw knitmeapony's tumblr post and thought it sounded like John. This is her and her girlfriend's valentine. 
> 
> The original Tumblr post can be found here:  
> http://knitmeapony.tumblr.com/post/74904205921/my-next-million-dollar-idea-reluctant-exercise

Sherlock was clueing for looks in the apartment on Bakers street and he sees an old-timey video. He says “Jawn! What is this thingy?!” But John wasn’t home so Mr. Sherlock goes to his mind palace and asks his mind palace “What do?” 

It says “Watch the video, Shezza.”

Sherlock watches the video with his eyes and his ears. 

 

To his surprise, Jawn is in the video!  John is in the move-box. 

 

John-in-the-box said “Just 5 more... I know, I kind of want to die right now too, but let’s just power through it.” Jawn shows Sherly excercising techniques. Sherlock likes what he sees.  
“Okay, new yoga pose. It’s going to ache like a bastard until your hamstrings release, I’m not gonna lie.”

 

Sherlock’s penis gets an erection.

  
“Oh John.”

 

 

Sherlock drools on his big coat as he watches the TV-John, “Stretch a little deeper.... it’s okay to yell ‘fuck’ at this point, I won’t tell anyone.”

 

Sherlock yells, “Fuck!” Because that’s what he wants to do to John. 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

8 seconds later, John came home. Sherlock was busy melting ice cubes in the kitchen for science. John said “Sherlock, I’m going to get naked and lay on my bed, not expecting anything sexual to happen.”

Sherlock said, “Go away. I’m in my sandbox with all my toys.” 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Later, John went away.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Sherlock felt sexual when he applied a nicotine patch to his butt and said “OH JAWN”  
  
John heard the Sherlock downstairs and said “what?”

Sherlock looked down at his penis and said “narf.”

 

John was angry and called down from his room, “Sherlock be quiet you’re interrupting my naked time!”

 

Sherlock said, “Juan,  I’m feeling sexy.” He sounded alarmed. Before Juan realized what was happening, Sherlock was scaling the stairs to Juan’s room. Juan said, “Are we going to sex?”

 

 

  
Sherlock opened the door, “I think it’s about time you do a little exercise.” 

 

John looked scared, “Sherlock, I’m just a man!” said Jose.

Sherlock said, “It’s okay, Joseph: I’m a detective.” Then he put on sunglasses. With that, Sherlilock took firm hold of Jawn’s beefy calves and folded the man in two, licking his bashful lips. 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

John said, ”WAIT! This is our first time, Sherlycock! We need _MORE SENSORY DETAIL!”  
  
_ Sherlock understood innately and said, “Okay babe” as he leaned down to nuzzle John’s pubic mound. It was, of course, unshaven and the curled blonde hair tickled Sherlock’s nose like a fine champagne. John’s pubes smelled of dick and urine. Sherlock nuzzled lower until he was at eye-level with John’s anus.

 

He noticed with a certain fondness the long, soft hair spiraling delicately around John’s furled pucker.  
He took a few minutes to admire the hidden gem, twitching at him pinkly. The gradient of it was something to behold: it’s redness darkened to a tea-stained brown as his his gaze traveled outward. It smelled like taint and felt moist under his touch.  
  
“Oh John, Let me fuck your butt!” He announced.  
  
John said, “YES! I want your genitalia inside my colon!”  
  
Sherlock raised John’s legs up so they rested on his shoulders, and John winced at the uncomfortable position. Sherlock said, “It’s going to ache like a bastard until your hamstrings release, I’m not gonna lie.” Then he put his erect boner into John’s winking sphincter. John bit his lip as sherlock began to slide his dingle-dongle in and out of Jawn’s intestines.  


Sherlock could tell John was close to ejaculating by the way his butt hole clenched down on his mayonnaise canon. Sherlock said, “It’s okay to yell ‘fuck’ at this point, I won’t tell anyone.”  
Jawn yelled “ **FUCK**!”

 

Because that’s what Sherlipop was currently doing to his hairy honeypot. 

 

Sherlock started to cum inside the slick, cavernous ass. It felt like backwards eating.  
  
Except bird style.  
  
John’s ass felt like a baby bird, being lovingly regurgitated into by Sherlock’s motherly penis.  
  
Sherlock said “mo....mo....も...MORERU! もれる！!!!”  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

When they were done, Jawn said, blushing, “Your cum feels like diarrhea.”   
  
Sherlock gave him a smooch and a loving smile and said, “I know, Martin Freeman. I know.”

  



End file.
